Advising James
by ilfreitas
Summary: James asks Sirius for advice so Lily agrees to go out with him. He doesn't believe that the advice could work, so watch out, femenine population at Hogwarts: Sirius has a point to show, and nothing is going to stop him! ONE-SHOT SxR


Disclaimer: Harry Potter's rights? I wish.

**Advising James**

Neither Sirius, Remus nor Peter was surprised when James sat next to them in the armchairs with a depressed look on his face and his hair bright pink and sparkling.

"Why doesn't Evans just go out with me?" he complained.

"There, there." Peter patted his shoulder "Perhaps you just don't how to ask."

"How to ask?" Sirius snorted "Is there anything easier than to ask some girl out?"

Not that he'd been doing that over a year, but everyone knew better than to point that out.

"Then how do you do it?" James asked.

"Pick up lines."

You may have noticed, but until now Remus hadn't said a word. He opened his mouth and closed it again before he sighed. He remained quiet.

"...Pick up lines don't work!" James frowned.

"Oh, yes, they do." Sirius smirked.

"Don't!"

"Do!"

"Don't!"

"Do!"

"Don't!"

"Do!"

"Don't!"

"Wanna bet?"

"Fine! I bet you can't use pick up lines on twenty girls without a bad reaction from them!"

"Guys..." Remus finally spoke.

"Great! And to make things fairer, you three can choose the girls!"

"Deal!"

"Don't do this." Remus glared at them. "One thing is to bet between the two of you, other is to play with some girls feelings..."

"Moony..." Sirius began t crack "I..."

"No!" James almost yelled with an evil smile "We already betted. And a Marauder never backs up on a bet.""

"I don't want to be a part of thins." Remus got up "I'm going to the library."

"No!" James stopped him "The rules was the _three_ of us would chose the girls. You have to come with us."

"I'll get the Map." Peter went upstairs.

OooooooooooooooO

"That girl, over there." James pointed.

"Alright." Sirius smiled and walked to her "Hey." He said to her.

She looked at him and gasped.

"You look cold. Wanna use me as a blanket?"

"I...I..." she started to hyperventilate. She was the first girl Sirius flirted with in one and half a year. "I...Yes!"

"Alright. I'll see you later, then." He winked at her and returned to his friends.

OooooooooooooooO

Sirius turned with a torned look to some girl.

"Hey. I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?"

"Oh...Sirius..." she giggled "Want to discuss that next weekend in Hogsmead?"

"And that makes four." Peter wrote down.

Remus scowled. He didn't like this. He didn't want to see Sirius flirt some random girls. In fact, he didn't want to see Sirius flirt anyone at all.

...Except him.

He stood quiet.

OooooooooooooooO

"Wow!" Sirius grabbed a girl's arm and looked at her as if in awe "Are you as beautiful as you seem, or you just remind me of myself?"

The girl blushed and fainted with a smile.

OooooooooooooooO

"Sorry, Claire," Sirius asked to the girl "are my undies showing?"

"No." She answered, blushing.

"Would you like them to?" he smirked.

"Who wouldn't?"

Her friends giggled with her and winked at him.

"Seven girls." Peter announced.

OooooooooooooooO

"Hey, I'm looking for a treasure, can I look around your chest?"

"Only if I can look around yours to."

Sirius smiled "I like you!"

"Twelve." Peter said.

OooooooooooooooO

"Hey, Mandy." Sirius sat next to her "I'm feeling a little off today, would you like to turn me on?"

"Just say where and when, babe."

"Fifteen." Peter counted.

OooooooooooooooO

"Can I be your slave tonight?" Sirius looked at Sarah in the eyes,

She looked him up and down.

"I may be easy," her looks remained on his trousers "but you look hard."

"Ooooh, that's a good one!" he laughed.

OooooooooooooooO

"Hey babe," he put an arm around her shoulders "got any diseases?"

"No."

"Want some?" he asked in a husky tone.

"I guess it would depend in how you would give me them." Kate licked her lips.

"Seventeen." Peter yawned.

James mumbled.

Remus bit his lower lip. He wasn't used to Sirius flirting anymore and it hurt him. It shouldn't, really, since they were only friends (it didn't matter if he wanted it to be something more), but it did.

OooooooooooooooO

"Hello, Sandie." Sirius smiled at her "There's a party in my pants and you're invited!"

"Cool! Do I need to bring a present?"

"Only if you want, babe."

"And that makes twenty."

"Bloody hell, it really works!" James said stunned.

OooooooooooooooO

"Hey, cupid called. He says he wants you to give my heart back."

"Oh, tell him I'm sorry, but I already gave it to the Giant Squib. You see, Potter, I didn't want it." She closed her book and started to walk away.

"Wait, Evans! Would you like to see me naked?"

"Not even in my nightmares!"

"If you were a booger I'd pick you first!"

"Funny, if you were a booger- oh, wait, you already are!"

"Hey kitten, how about spending one of your nine lives with me?"

"One's too many, Potter!"

OooooooooooooooO

Remus was reading in the common room, alone.

Peter was upstairs in the dorm with James, both trying to undo the jinx Lily had cast on the latter. Remus knew the counter-curse but he wasn't going to use it.

At least not yet, James deserved it for following Sirius stupid advice and for making him flirt all those girls, which lead to making Remus more miserable.

So James was staying with those cat ears and whiskers a little longer.

"Moony!" Sirius walked in "Remus, give me your hand!"

"I'm sorry, Padfoot, but I'm not ready for marriage yet." He joked as the boy he was in love with sat next to him and grabbed his hand "And I think my father will disapprove, he didn't like it when you blew my window back at home."

"But there was no other way to make my motorbike in! I'm sure he'll change his mind, but pay attention now." He cleared his throat "This is a reeeeaaaaally big river" Remus tried not to shiver as he draw a line with his finger on the werewolf's hand "and there's a bunny on this side that really really needs to get on the other side. How does he do it?"

"He jumps?"

"Nu-uh, because if he did he would jump reeeeaaaally high and then fall into the river and go 'glu glu glu...'"

"...He could swim."

"Bunnies can't swim! He would drown!"

"HE could go around and-"

"It's a reeeaaaally big river! It would take days!"

"Build a bridge?" Remus smiled.

"He's a _bunny_, Moony!"

"Then how is he supposed to cross the river?"

"I don't know, Moony," Sirius made puppy eyes "I just wanted to hold your hand."

Remus heart skipped a beat.

"Using pick up line son me now, Sirius? Another bet with James?"

"No bet! We don't bet on Marauders, you know that!"

"So why the pick up line?" Remus noticed Sirius was still holding his hand. He didn't take it off either.

"Because your lips seem lonely. Would you like to introduce them to mine?" Sirius leaned closer to Remus.

Moony leaned closer to Padfoot until their lips met.

"Huum, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure's all mine." Sirius grinned.

Perhaps pick up lines _did_ work, Remus decided as he kissed Sirius again, but only with Sirius.

OooooooooooooooooooO

**Did everyone see Remus and Sirius kiss in A Very Potter Sequel? I was soo happy~! :3 **

**Oh, and I LOVED the fights between Remus and Snape! **_**("This year we'll be taking particularly attention to the cycles of the moon, and it's affect on certain Professors." "Hey Lupin, want to watch the full moon with me? Ahah, zombie." "Who looks stupid now? You do!"**_**)**

**3 Remus quotes from there for you~**

"_**I'm not dangerous. And I'm not homeless...anymore."**_

"_**Just stay away from the Shrieking Shack, okay? I'm a werewolf in there."**_

"_**Shit, you're kinds! I better watch my damn mouth around you, little bastards! Oh sorry, I mean 'Shoot! I better watch my damn mouth around you little bastards!'"**_


End file.
